


Eat Me

by orphan_account



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, caught masturbating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 11:38:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11126274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Taako wears suggestive panties. Magnus is easily suggested.





	Eat Me

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been sitting on my desktop for weeks and I think it's finally done. I actually posted it about a week ago before deciding it wasn’t ready so here it is again in its (hopefully!) final form. This was supposed to be a short fic, not a nearly 4k monstrosity.
> 
> I want to make it explicitly clear that Magnus is a trans dude in this, but I wanted to use different language because most of the trans stuff I read inevitably ends up using words like clit/vagina/etc. and I wanted something different. I guess in my headcanon this is the kind of language Magnus would use anyway? (Note that I am by no means dragging fics using that terminology, I have and likely will continue using those words in fics about trans characters, but I wanted some variety and hopefully I have provided that?)

“EAT ME” is what Taako’s panties say, right across the butt in rhinestones. Magnus knows this because he saw it when Taako bent down to grab a spoon he dropped, and Magnus laughed at him. Now Magnus is pinned against the kitchen wall by some spell while Taako is kind of up in his grill, and Magnus is trying very hard to keep his breathing steady.

“You got a problem with my outfit, bubala? ‘Cuz if so, we can _for sure_ get this shit started right here and now.” His words are tough with just a hint of teasing, but his ears, those big elf ears, keep twitching. Magnus wonders what that means, exactly. So he asks.

“Seriously, Burnsides? You mock my incredible fashion choices and then come busting in with the racially-charged questions? The fuck, my dude.”

“Sorry, I was just… I mean, they’re just twitching a lot and I haven’t seen that before. Can I…?” Before the question is completely out of his mouth, he reaches out a hand and runs his fingers, his thick, calloused fingers, up Taako’s ear. And Taako whimpers. And then he smacks Magnus’s hand so hard it stings.

“That is deffo a no-no zone, okay, absolutely NO touching the ears! Holy shit, I thought you were an adult human man, not a tiny human toddler. Were you raised in a barn?”

Magnus is too distracted to answer, and he’s barely even paying attention on account of how warm he’s getting. The noise- that whimper- struck some chord way deep in him that he hadn’t thought about for a while, and now he’s all but popping a boner in the kitchen because his best friend has sensitive ears. Lady Istus is surely fucking with him on this one, because there’s no way this situation is even real.

“Heyo, earth to Magnus, buddy, you’re acting super fucked up tonight. Are you okay?” Taako sounds like he might be genuinely concerned at this point, which is a red flag if there ever was one. 

“Sorry,” and he forces out a laugh, “guess I’m just tired. Better hit the hay. Uh. You have fun out here. You and your highly suggestive panties.”

“Okay, weirdo,” is the last thing Magnus hears before he closes the door to his room a little too hard. He leans against the door and takes a deep breath. He can’t jerk off to his friend. Right? That’s a friendship foul, probably. Definitely? Gods, if it was just the panties it would have been fine, but that _noise-_

He’s gonna do it. He’s gonna for sure do it. He’s gonna jerk off to the thought of Taako. There’s a heavy undercurrent of guilt when he makes that decision, but the more immediate and nagging feeling of arousal overpowers it. Before he can talk himself out of it he’s undoing his pants and shoving them down and taking his cock between his thumb and forefinger and gods-

Magnus has to cover his mouth with his other hand because he hasn’t done this in so long and it feels _so_ good. There are little gasps and groans that he’s mostly successfully stifling as he strokes himself. Thinking about Taako. How his ears twitch when he’s interested in something, how his ears are apparently super sensitive. How he wears panties that are fucking bedazzled to read, “EAT ME.”

And Magnus would, at this point. Well. Putting it like that implies he wouldn’t have before, which isn’t true. He tries to not spend a lot of time perving on his teammates but saying he didn’t think Taako was attractive would be a dirty, dirty lie. Taako is so confident, wearing short-shorts that show off his thick thighs, crop tops that show off his big belly, all of him so soft while his personality is so sharp. Magnus has definitely thought about running his hands up those thighs, over that belly, over that chest. 

His calloused hands would probably be rough on Taako’s smooth, elven skin. Would it tickle? Would Taako giggle if he ran his hands up his calves, up his thighs? Or would it feel weird to him? Would Taako like it? Hate it? Would he-

There’s a knock on the door that hits right where Magnus’ shoulder is and he freezes, cock in hand.

“Mags, you okay in there? Just wanted to check in on account of how fuckin’ wacky you were acting earlier. You know if you have a brain parasite or something you’re legally obligated to tell me or it’s entrapment.”

Fuck. _Fuck_. Magnus doesn’t trust his voice right now, plus it’ll be coming from right up against the door, which Taako will think is weird because it _is_ weird and oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck-

“Mango? I know you’re in there, I can hear you wheezing or whatever. Seriously, dude, Taako’s kinda worried you’re losing it.”

He has to say something, this is getting out of hand. He clears his throat. 

“Yeah dude I’m good, just drank too much last night,” and he forces out a laugh. By the grace of some god his voice stays even and he prays Taako will buy it and just leave.

There’s a pause, and then, “Okay, homie, sleep it off or whatever. Catch you on the flip side.” 

Magnus waits, holding his breath, until the sound of footsteps fades away. Then he starts stroking himself again, faster, just wanting to get off and get this over with. He thinks of Taako again, of his thighs, his lips, his hands, his hair, and finally cums against his hand with a grunt. It’s not a particularly satisfying orgasm- it would’ve been better if he hadn’t been interrupted, if he could have just focused on his original fantasy.

 _It would have been better if the real deal was here,_ says a part of his brain that he tries to ignore.

There’s a slick mess on his hand that’s starting to dry, and Magnus briefly considers wiping it on his pants before remembering that he’s not a fucking animal, and also that this is his last clean pair of pants. He’s going to have to go to the bathroom to clean up, and the bathroom is halfway down the hall outside his room. His pants are still unlaced and around his thighs and as he tries to pull them up with his one clean hand he curses himself for this entire ordeal.

When Magnus finally, resignedly shuffles out of his room towards the bathroom he shares with Taako and Merle, his pants are still fairly low around his hips and are untied, and his hand is still covered in his cum. Between his legs is wet and slick, and he hopes he’s not getting any of the mess on his pants. As he walks, he whispers a prayer over and over to any and all gods listening to not let Taako or Merle see him like this. He promises his soul, his firstborn, his secondborn, his blood, Railsplitter - anything and everything in exchange for safe passage to the bathroom.

The gods are apparently unswayed by his offers, though, because when he gets to the bathroom door, it’s shut and he can hear what sounds like Taako humming inside. Before Magnus can turn and run back to his room, the door opens with a click and Magnus is standing face-to-face (give or take a few inches) with Taako.

Magnus opens his mouth to say anything, literally anything, but all that comes out is a raspy, “Uhhhhh.” 

Taako, for once, says nothing. He looks at Magnus, taking everything in. His eyes flick down to Magnus’ untied pants and the mess on his hand, and then back to Magnus’ face, and down to his pants again. His ears twitch and kind of dip back, and Magnus is burning in hell.

“Jeezy creezy,” is what he finally says. And then his ears start to perk up, and he whispers gleefully, “ _Jeezy creezy._ Oh, Maggie. Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. You naughty boy. You _didn’t._ ”

Magnus opens his mouth to try and say something, but Taako continues before he can figure out how to put words together.

“My panties got you all hot and bothered and you had to go jack off. That’s what happened, isn’t it? Oh, _Magnus,_ you’re such a perv. Did you think about me?” He moves closer, the top of his head coming up to about Magnus’ chin, and looks up with hooded eyes.

“Did you come thinking about touching me? Kissing me? _Fucking_ me?”

Magnus is vaguely aware of his mouth opening and closing, and definitely aware that no sound is coming out. He’s nodding his head yes before he can stop himself, and Taako chuckles. Then he’s grabbing Magnus’ hand, the hand covered in cum, and he sticks two of Magnus’ fingers in his mouth, sucking on them, licking them clean. With how fast his heart is beating, Magnus thinks he might drop dead any second now. 

Somehow, he stays alive and on his feet, and Taako is starting to back into the bathroom, both of his hands holding the hand that’s still in his mouth. Magnus follows him, being both pulled and entranced, and when the two of them are completely in the bathroom, Taako slams the door shut and shoves Magnus up against it, his small hands on Magnus’ hips.

“Mango, I’m gonna be real honest. Taako is _suuuper_ horny right now and kinda getting the vibe that you are too. Accurate?”

Magnus nods, trying to figure out if he’s having some sort of fever dream and if so, how he can stay in it forever.

“Can you go again this soon, big guy?”

It takes a few tries before Magnus can actually make any sounds with his throat, but he finally manages to whisper, “I think so.”

“Good,” and Taako is smirking, “because I’m about to blow your mind. And your dick.”

Magnus tries to give him a disapproving look, but he laughs a little bit at the fucking awful joke. Taako grins back, all teeth, as he sinks to his knees in front of Magnus and yanks his pants down in one smooth motion. His ears perk up and he lets out a breath. Magnus shivers.

“Oh, gods, Mango, you’re so big… I mean, all of you is built like a brick shithouse so it figures, but I never imagined-“

Taako shuts his mouth and turns red as his ears flatten against the sides of his head. Magnus finally finds his voice, now that Taako’s lost his.

“Sorry, you never _imagined_? Have you been _imagining,_ Taako?”

The wizard says nothing, and stares pointedly at a spot just past Magnus’ hip. He gets redder and redder with every passing second.

Magnus clears his throat. “Hey, you caught me with my pants down, literally. I rode the shame train. Now it’s your turn.” He tries to stifle the smile that keeps threatening to break out across his face. “So? Have you been jerking it to the thought of me?”

Taako huffs, and still says nothing. Magnus reaches down a hand- the clean hand- and strokes Taako’s hair. The elf leans into the touch, butting his head against Magnus’ hand like a cat. Magnus runs this thumb down the length of Taako’s ear, and he fucking _purrs_.

(Okay, there’s probably a more accurate word for when elves do it, but when Taako makes a noise that kind of vibrates his entire body, ‘purr’ is the first word that comes to mind for Magnus.)

As Magnus strokes his ear, it starts flicking gently, then harder, and Taako lets out a low moan before slapping Magnus’ hand away from the second time that day.

When he finally speaks, though, he doesn’t sound angry or upset. He just sounds tired.

“You smell so good,” is what he mumbles. “Can’t I just blow you and we leave it at that?”

That hurts a little for Magnus. This isn’t necessarily something he wants just in the heat of the moment- like, obviously it _is_ , but he also cares about Taako. Maybe a little more than a normal teammate/coworker/friend would, but still. Plus, he wants- no, he needs- to know whether Taako has spent as much time and energy as him fantasizing about the other. Whether this is a two-way street. Whether it would be safe to try and cross.

“I’ll let you blow me after you tell me how many times you rubbed one out thinking about my hot ass.”

“Oh, excuuuse me, your highness, I didn’t realize I was sucking the royal dick in this here bathroom. That it was such a _privilege_.” It’s hard to tell if Taako is actually irritated, or if he’s just being Taako. His ears are still pretty perked up, which probably means he’s not mad. 

Then he’s leaning in and his mouth is open, and Magnus can first feel Taako’s nose up against his pubes and his breath, hot and wet. Then he feels Taako’s tongue, pressing flush against the underside of his dick, almost back to his hole, and he _stops_ like that, looking up at Magnus’ face with dark eyes.  
What Magnus wants to say is, “Are you fucking kidding me,” but what actually comes out is, “Ohhh, fuck.”

And Taako’s just fucking kneeling there, not sucking, not licking, just pressing his tongue against Magnus and waiting. Every time he swallows, his tongue moves a bit, and it’s so fucking little stimulation but it still sends shivers up his spine. Magnus tries to be patient, but after about half a minute of Taako just _sitting_ there, he tries to thrust his hips forward, but Taako holds them still with a surprising amount of strength. It’s another half-minute of struggling (both mentally and physically) before he finally gives in, and whispers _please_ and then Taako’s leaning in, wrapping his lips around him and sucking. He flicks his tongue over Magnus’ head a few times, and Magnus is moaning and gripping Taako’s hair with one hand and the bathroom counter with the other. Taako’s mouth is so hot and wet and his tongue is so good, _fuck_ but he knows what he’s doing.

Magnus is already sensitive from his last orgasm, and with Taako blowing him the way he is, it’s not long before Magnus is coming and shaking and trying hard not to crack the counter or pull out a chunk of Taako’s hair. Taako keeps his lips around his cock, keeps sucking and licking until Magnus uses the grip on his hair to push him away. As he’s panting, trying to catch his breath, he feels a drop of come start to roll down his thigh. Taako must see it, because he leans in and licks it up and hums against his inner thigh before leaning back.

“So? You gonna be able to jerk it to that for a few weeks?” He’s smirking even though there’s a trail of drool running down his chin and his hair is a mess from where Magnus had been gripping it. Magnus is still breathing too hard to answer, and Taako gets to his feet, wiping off his face and looking in the mirror.

“Wow, you really did a number on my hair, Maggie. This is gonna take forever to brush out.” 

There’s a short silence before Magnus catches his breath enough to ask, “Have you… really thought about my dick before?”

Taako stops combing through his hair with his fingers and closes his eyes. His back is kind of to Magnus but if he opens his eyes he’ll see his reflection, and Magnus will see his.

“Are you seriously still on that? I just gave you a BJ, dude. Taako doesn’t owe you shit in the way of explanations.”

“No, I mean… I’m not saying you owe me, just. Uh. Taako? Listen. This wasn’t just a… a spur-of-the-moment thing for me. Like. It kind of was, but it didn’t come out of nowhere. I’m… I mean. I think you’re hot.” Magnus is blushing the prettiest shade of red Taako has ever seen, and watching him stumble over this confession is, for lack of a better word, cute. “I think you’re hot and I like you, a lot. And I guess I just want to know kind of… where we stand. Right now. You know?”

Taako really doesn’t want to get into a feelings talk, especially with how wet he is and how much he just wants Magnus’ mouth and/or fingers in and/or on his cunt right now, but Magnus is kind of baring his soul and it doesn’t seem fair to totally blow him off. So Taako tries to take the middle road by mixing a pinch of honesty with a cup of I’m-Still-Horny.

“Listen, uh. There’s a chance that _maybe_ I’ve wondered exactly what you’re packing. And _maybe_ I wondered while I had my hand down my pants. And _maybe_ \- maybe!- I wondered so hard I had to take a shower afterwards. But that’s one big hypothetical, just FYI. But if any of that stuff happened, it would deffo be because I think you’re hot.”

Magnus touches his shoulder, and Taako looks at him. He can feel his face getting warmer, and his ears are tight to the sides of his head. Magnus smiles gently at him, and squeezes his shoulder softly before saying,

“That’s gay, dude.”

Taako can’t figure out whether to laugh or punch Magnus, so he does both, punching him in the stomach as he doubles over with laughter. Magnus makes an _oof_ sound, but it’s obviously exaggerated. Then he’s cracking up, and the two boys just spend a minute laughing together. Magnus has a great laugh, deep and booming, and listening to it makes something warm bloom in Taako’s chest.

“Can I kiss you?” 

Taako stops laughing, and looks at Magnus. He’s looking back at him with a hopeful, earnest look on his face, and Taako doesn’t give it a second thought before he’s on his tiptoes, pressing his soft lips to Magnus’ chapped ones and throwing his arms around his neck. Magnus is stooped down, and then he grabs Taako’s hips and lifts him easily so he’s sitting on the counter. Being picked up like he weighs nothing sends a thrill through Taako, and he giggles against Magnus’ mouth. He can feel Magnus smiling back against his mouth, and then he’s running his tongue over his lips with teasing flicks and Taako opens his mouth to let Magnus’ tongue in. 

Magnus slides his tongue into his mouth and moans quietly at the taste of himself still on Taako’s tongue. Taako’s arms tighten around his neck, pulling Magnus in even closer, and it feels like they spend an eternity just kissing and it’s fucking magical even though it’s happening in a bathroom. When they finally break apart, Magnus is looking at Taako like he’s never seen anything so beautiful.

“Can we take this back to my room?” There’s that hopeful look again, that honesty and openness that comes so easily to Magnus, and there’s no way in the universe that Taako is going to say no. 

It’s easy for Magnus to carry Taako back to his room, with his hands on Taako’s ass, holding him to his hips just high enough that Magnus can still walk. Taako clings tight and presses kisses to Magnus’ neck as he’s carried. Magnus slams the door to his room behind him and gently puts Taako on the bed so he can crawl over him. He’s kneeling between Taako’s legs, hands on either side of Taako’s hips. 

“What do you want me to do?” he whispers.

Taako has to think about that for a second- he didn’t totally expect to get to this point before he had a plan. After a few seconds of silence, he says, “I want you to fuck me with those gorgeous fingers. Will you do that for me, Mags?”

Magnus nods. 

Taako is wearing a skirt short enough to show his ass if he bends down, so there’s not much fabric to push up and out of the way. His EAT ME panties- boyshorts, Magnus thinks they’re called- are zebra-striped and hideous and so unfairly hot. This close, Magnus can smell Taako’s arousal and it’s strong and thick and a little sweet. He hopes desperately that Taako tastes as good as he smells (and knows he will).

When Magnus takes too long just staring at him, Taako weaves his fingers into Magnus’ hair and starts gently pushing his head down. His eyes flick up to meet Taako’s, and he grins as he lets his head be guided between Taako’s legs. Then he’s licking a slow, firm line up Taako’s cunt through his panties. Magnus feels nails dig into his scalp, and repeats the action. 

“Stop fucking around,” is what Taako gasps after a few more licks. “Take my godsdamned panties off and fuck me right now, Magnus, I swear to g-“

It’s kind of an accident, ripping the panties clean off Taako’s body. Magnus didn’t _mean_ to destroy them. But he pulled too hard too fast and then seams were ripping and now, even after destroying his underwear, Taako is still telling him to _fuck him already, holy shit_ so Magnus throws the shredded panties to the side and leans over Taako as he slowly slides one teasing finger into him. Taako groans and tries to grind down onto his hand.

“If you make me come hard enough,” he pants, “you won’t owe me a new pair of panties, if that’s the incentive you need.”

Magnus laughs as he slips a second finger in with no resistance- Taako is so wet, he almost can’t believe it. And he’s so responsive. Magnus crooks his fingers inside of him and Taako whines loudly as his nails dig into Magnus’ shoulders. 

“You’re hot,” he murmurs into Taako’s neck before sucking gently, and Taako has almost certainly drawn blood at this point with how hard he’s clawing at Magnus. It hurts, but not necessarily in a bad way. He presses his fingers into him, deeper, and Taako whimpers and arches his hips towards Magnus. Magnus takes the hint and shifts a little to get a better position, and then starts fucking Taako hard and fast. He tries to rub Taako’s clit with his thumb as he thrusts his fingers in and out of his cunt, though he can’t quite do it consistently. Still, Taako is shaking and pressing against him and moaning his name and it doesn’t take him long to come around Magnus’ fingers, swearing and grabbing every part of Magnus he can reach as he trembles through his orgasm. When Taako stops twitching, Magnus pulls his fingers out slowly, and sticks one in his mouth. Taako is salty, sweet, and heady, just like he hoped.

“You taste good, you know that?”

Taako doesn’t respond from where he’s collapsed on his back, breathing hard with an arm draped over his face. Magnus kisses his stomach, then his chest, then his cheek, then the arm across his face. Taako lifts his arm enough to peek out for under it at the man curling up next to him. He grunts a little when Magnus wraps his arms around his waist, but smiles despite himself when Magnus kisses his shoulder.

“I dunno if that was a good enough orgasm to make up for a 20-gold-piece pair of panties,” he says, finally. “They were a real treasure, you know? _And_ I got them in Phandalin so there’s no getting a replacement pair.” He tsks and Magnus pulls him in tighter, his hot breath on the back of Taako’s neck giving him goosebumps.

“Guess I’ll just have to try again, huh?”


End file.
